The idea of putting myself out there wasn't really an idea that I even thought of, I was content being single, and sleeping like a starfish in my King bed. I didn't have to worry about anything that involved taking care of another person besides my daughter and I was loving it. I never felt alone or empty I was getting to know myself and the best part was I traveled! I traveled alone and it was the most fulfilling experience.
THE MEET UP
POF...that's how it all began. Even when I created my profile I remember that sick feeling I had, am I really doing this? Is this what my life was going to be all about? I wasn't comfortable with the fact that it wasn't going to be organic. But I went for it and it was the worst experience of my life...the messages, the intro lines, the keyboard cheesy pick up lines, this was not what I wanted. However I did find it amusing, and I thought wow men have to do a lot and the art of conversation was a learning curve that they needed to learn quick! So I had to take different a approach and that was to simply not expect and just have fun. Needless to say, I eventually went off line....it just wasn't my thing and I think I was more afraid of being that girl, and truth be told I didn't know what that girl exactly meant. I was over thinking and not enjoying the full experience, and I was ok with that. It just meant I wasn't ready to put myself out there and the universe knew I needed a little more time.
So I continued to train ferociously and starfished in my King...its was lovely. About 5 months later after a hard days work and waiting for my Pho, I just opened up my dating app. And there he was..... that smile it was deadly. I quickly went into the message he wrote and it said, "Archery? I've never done that before." And that was it nothing else...no "you're hot" or "looking for a good time?' I went back to click on his picture and I began to overthink..."he's too good looking, looks high maintenance, likes the girls with the perfect body, possible PLAYER, he just wants a good time and these thoughts flooded in like a tsunami. So I ate my Pho and played candy crush for a bit and sat there doing nothing. My daughter came home from school asked me what I was doing I said nothing and she said...."well you should do something." These very words translated to me as "mom go for it" so I took this as the universes sign. I logged in, and messaged "archery is awesome you should try it." My heart was thumping so hard in fear that I wouldn't get a reply, and then ding! he messaged back! This was a BIG deal, I squealed like a little school girl, omg what do I do? should I message him back, oh God I look terrible I should comb my hair shower or something. So there I went overthinking scared to death. I needed to get a grip or at the very least open up his message and read it. Oh gosh I can't breathe just replaying this moment....lol I'm a goof ball! His message read, "looks like you do MMA training we should grapple." Oh man I laughed so hard and the rest of the conversation was just that.... full of hard laughing, pee your pants laugh, my stomach hurts so much I can't breathe laugh.
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